It’s reaching the time when I get an email from Substack reminding me to publish before I break my posting record, that I set a goal to post once a week and the clock is ticking. Usually when this happens I dip into my archives and find one that feels appropriate.
For some reason I didn’t do that today. It’s not that I have a post itching to get out to you. It’s more this ambivalence… subject matter swirling in my head. Lots of floaties, dust motes of ideas.
I need a maid…
So here is a smattering of random updates!
For one thing, Mr. Miller admitted via a long chain of discussions, that he had put his political “team” before Team Miller. It’s funny, a few days earlier he’d accused me of nonchalantly trading one team jersey for another, regarding my defection from the left. The sports metaphors know no end!
Without chronicling the details, for now, we’re good. Certainly better than we were. That doesn’t mean I’m sharing Tucker clips or bringing up hot-button issues. But he is not shying away as much as he used to when we invariably discuss… The Trans Stuff.
During a conversation he had with Miss Miller recently, he was relieved to hear her say that she very much does NOT appreciate the extreme trans activists who declare that one cannot call themselves truly trans if they don’t medicalize their identity.
Picking her kvetch apart is fruitful for the juicy fact that Miss Miller seems quite comfortable steering clear of needles and scalpels. I’m not in love with her clinging to a trans identity and wish to God she’d toss it in the garbage where it belongs, but I’m trying not to be greedy here.
In other update news, I continue to bartend and also serve at my new restaurant job. What is the political climate there, you ask? One of my coworkers is pro-Palestine so we have agreed not to discuss that matter, because she is sweet and funny and laughs at my jokes. I assume that most of my twenty-something colleagues would take her side if they paid attention to politics, but I ain’t sayin’ nuthin’. I also think I might be the only Jewish person on staff.
Another two female coworkers are self-proclaimed bisexuals, and frankly, after all I’ve lived through in the past five decades and after all I’ve seen these past few years, I predict they’ll both be married and knocked up within the decade. It’s just. Too. Trendy.
The one coworker I have discussed gender with is a hilarious gay dude who actually gets it when I sympathize with him not wanting to have sex with straight girls who think they’re gay men, but he’s also out of the gender-political loop enough to still cheerlead anyone’s proclaimed identity, out of a leftist perception of “kindness.”
I swear this notion of being “kind” is what holds young adults back from really thinking these things through. It’s a, “what’s so wrong with pronouns, and letting someone identify however they like?” It’s, “Why do you care so much?” They think all I wanna do is rain all over someone’s Pride Parade, but their brand of “kindness” is exactly what’s hurting people even more. Gay people included. Trans people. Children.
What well-meaning lefties don’t realize is that true kindness means not enabling delusions or psychopaths.
BOOM.
My biopsy was negative but I have a thickened uterine wall and, um, okay this is personal—clitoral adhesions. (OMG I’m so embarrassed. So take it out, Miller. Nah, leave it. Really? Yeah, why not? Well now they know I talk to myself too. I’m telling you it’s good. Leave it. All of it? Yeah. OKAY. Jeez.) These are not “big” issues but they make me feel old, like left-out-to-rot kind of old. Stale bread.
Also the second midwife I visited this past week was so overly sweet and patronizing I wanted to punch her in the throat. Her mullet and pronouns didn’t help. What can I say, I’m getting crotchety in my golden years.
And I’m not apologizing for it.
I’m much happier when I’m angry.
Can you relate?
😃
"What well-meaning lefties don’t realize is that true kindness means not enabling delusions or psychopaths."
As you said-- Boom!
I mention this all the time when talking about trans issues.
I typically refer to a given hypothetical trans person as having a mental illness called gender dysphoria, and I usually refer to the individual as a patient.
I don't mean this in a derogatory way... I have a lot of sympathy with people who struggle with mental issues. I've had my own issues with depression and anxiety, and I have become friends with people (whom I respect, if "friends" did not convey it adequately) who have had bipolar and such. I would not call them "crazy" or "freak" or anything like that. They are human beings who deserve respect and empathy just as much as any other human being (or non-human being, for that matter).
As this is an area of interest, I have done a bunch of reading and learning on the topic, and one thing that has become clear is that it is not an act of kindness to indulge a person's delusions. You are not doing a person a favor by doing so, and even though it seems unkind to upset the person by refusing to indulge the delusion, it is better than the alternative of reinforcing it. Is the goal to keep the person quiet, or is it to truly help that person to come to grips with reality?
Reality, as it were, has a way of asserting itself whether or not a person accepts it, so avoiding the upset now only to have it hit much harder later may be easier for the person who is indulging the delusion, but not for the person with it. Going along to get along is not kind... it is an abdication of the responsibility one has towards a person s/he cares about. It's an act of selfishness, making yourself feel warm and fuzzy for making another person feel warm and fuzzy at the expense of their well-being.
I think that many people who indulge the trans stuff only believe the lore around it in a superficial way, like when one discusses the rules of how people become vampires or zombies in various TV shows or movies. You know it is not true, but for the purpose of watching and discussing the show, you suspend disbelief for a bit. Like you said, they ask where the harm is in doing that... after all, it seems like a nice thing to do for someone, to play along to make them feel better. Enabling always feels like that, though, if you're too naive to see you're enabling.
I think that unlike certain Supreme Court justices, most people truly do know what a woman is, and it's not just someone who has a feeling that they're female. Maleness and femaleness are biological realities, not feelings. The "what's the harm" people are, I think, looking at this like it's pretending Santa is real to spare the feelings of children, but it's far more harmful than that. People don't change their names, take hormones, or get surgery because of their belief in Santa.
I think that your daughter not falling in line with the drugs and scalpel routine is something to celebrate. 🎉 As a contrarian myself, perhaps her still wearing the “cloak” is a way of feeling like she hasn’t bowed to her parent’s wishes or “betrayed” the cult. Just think of the hell she’d pay if she decided she’d like to wear women’s clothing again. The cult are evil fuckers. Fall in line or we will destroy you.
I’m so tired of all the bullshit language and mental gymnastics that they pretend is “kindness”. One of the most asinine phrases is “My truth.” “Living my best/most authentic life” is a close second. Ugh!! Shove your pronouns and mental disorders up your ass. (Not you, them)
“If it is not right, do not do it; if it is not true, do not say it.”
—Marcus Aurelius