I'm reading (okay, listening to) a book I'm already recommending to my kids. And I've thought of you, too, while listening, thinking of your descriptions of your childhood neglect and trauma. It is hands-down the most useful framework I've come across for helping make connections between childhood experiences/upbringing and adult triggers and dysfunctional habitual behaviors. It's eye-opening. If you haven't read it I very HIGHLY (*super* highly) recommend it. https://a.co/d/0QTkFSh
You do not have Borderline Personality Disorder. Look up and research CPTSD. You have way too much self awareness for BPD. You are aware your emotions come from within yourself rather than blaming them on everyone around you, and then lashing out. CPTSD can arise from a chaotic childhood. Ask me how I know😳
Yay! I feel healed! I used to be a hell of a victim in one of my previous lives though. And bpd, from what I've, ahem, researched, cough google cough, is a real spectrum, unlike gender lol. But still, you're probably right. I'm gonna rabbit hole that bitch. And we should totally have coffee.🤎
People with BPD are not universally without self-awareness. In fact, in many cases they have a crippling sense of shame about the effect of their actions on others. They just can't control them. And Mrs M is right on that it's a spectrum. There are 9 criteria for BPD, ranging from self harm and chronic suicidal thoughts to relationship difficulties and impulsivity to feelings of emptiness. An individual is diagnosed when they have any five. I'm not a math person but that is a whole lot of different combinations of traits. The symptoms do overlap quite a bit with CPTSD, to the point that many people believe they are the same disorder entirely. However, since the US mental health and insurance system is based on DSM diagnoses instead of the ICD system used elsewhere (and indeed used in the US for everything other than mental health), and CPTSD has not been allowed in the DSM despite decades of advocacy, it's much less common for Americans to get an official diagnosis of CPTSD. And if they did, they would probably have difficulty getting insurance to cover any treatment at all.
Unfortunately people with BPD have been demonized over the years. Those of us with intense emotions, regardless of our diagnostic label, can be difficult for others to deal with when we're struggling. But the BPD label is associated with a problem in the person, while the CPTSD label is associated with the person having been hurt. This is despite the fact that upwards of 85% of those with BPD have prior trauma. In the vast majority of cases, BPD is caused by difficulties in childhood. It is a delay in a person's social emotional development because they did not have the support and assistance they needed to develop "normally". And although the public perception is that BPD never gets better, in fact there is a very high level of spontaneous remission when the person reaches their 40s or thereabouts. This might also fit Mrs M since she seems to be seeing a lot of changes in her life in the last decade.
Frankly, since all mental health diagnoses are just imprecise, man-made, somewhat arbitrary categories that have no real basis in any kind of science, the label matters less than what is done with it. BPD tends to be treated with DBT, which helps some people but often is more harmful for those with severe prior trauma and with self-awareness. It is focused entirely on behavioral training and didactic skills teaching. Otoh, PTSD of any kind is generally dealt with by addressing and healing the underlying trauma. If a traumatized person accesses good trauma treatment, they have a better chance of long term recovery than if they are drilled on how to change their behavior. This is true whether they are labeled with BPD, PTSD, or even with addiction. Imo, having been in health care for decades AND as a patient with trauma, part of why BPD is percieved as being so difficult to work with is that the methods we commonly use to "treat" it actually increase emotional lability and can make the person worse, not better.
Bottom line, the label matters far less than the knowledge that something is wrong AND the way you handle it.
I'll admit to hating DBT. I found it over simplistic and patronizing. Where does a gal find good trauma treatment? And also, thanks for your expertise and insight!
I love your insight in this, makes A lot of sense. I've recently found out two of my children's friends (and one of mine) were wrongly diagnosed with BPD and then were diagnosed with ADHD and depression? Could it be same symptoms but different treatment options are just more efficient? As In balancing stimulants with anti depressants and a better life routine are better than lithium and the idea that their symptons are possibly uncontainable? I Don't know, just thinking aloud!!??
I have thought, written, and spoken about the role of borderline personality traits in trans identification. How BPD creates a vulnerability to the ideology, but is also iatrogenically intensified by the ideology.
Oh my goodness!! Thank you for mentioning Prisha! I met her a couple years ago when Independent Women's Forum brought a tour of detransitioners to Texas. I was learning as much as I could in order to combat the gender ideology that had captured my daughter. Prisha's story deeply touched me and she let me give her the biggest mom hug I could muster when she said she was ruined. I'm so excited to learn that she had a baby!! Beautiful!
"I used to call them all-consuming obsessions until Miss Miller taught me that they are hyper-fixations, which can be a symptom of borderline personality disorder. "
I think they are rather more indicative of autism spectrum disorder, a topic about which I know a great deal first-hand, if you get my drift. Most female to male "trans" people are on the spectrum, and it is genetic. Not saying it is not BPD, but when you add trauma and PTSD to ASD, it could look a lot like what you describe. Just another thing to add to the differential dx.
Actually, the part of the autism spectrum you are speaking of has not been found to be genetic. When it does run in families, there has been no genetic abnormality found. Rather, it seems that that part of the spectrum is related to generational trauma. It's a learned or environmental trait rather than a biological genetic one. Whether that end of the spectrum is the same disorder as the forms of autism that have verified genetic links (which are mostly the more "severe" forms, where the person is nonverbal and unable to live without 24-7 lifelong care AND which are mostly associated with other congenital disorders) is an open question. As I said in a long comment above, mental health diagnoses, and that includes autism, are imprecise categories that are created by committees of doctors who are often paid by interested industries. They are not based on any actual physiological or generic findings and are highly subjective. So, yes, there has been an increasing number of people with prior trauma who are being diagnosed on the autism spectrum. But with different providers they could and often are just as easily diagnosed BPD or CPTSD. When diagnoses are based entirely on symptoms, and when the same symptoms meet criteria of many different diagnoses, it's kind of a crapshoot. Regardless, diagnosis matters far less than treatment.
I'm reading (okay, listening to) a book I'm already recommending to my kids. And I've thought of you, too, while listening, thinking of your descriptions of your childhood neglect and trauma. It is hands-down the most useful framework I've come across for helping make connections between childhood experiences/upbringing and adult triggers and dysfunctional habitual behaviors. It's eye-opening. If you haven't read it I very HIGHLY (*super* highly) recommend it. https://a.co/d/0QTkFSh
In any case, love and <<HUGS>>
Thanks Leah! Already sampling.
Are you me? ( regarding lounging in bed)😉
You do not have Borderline Personality Disorder. Look up and research CPTSD. You have way too much self awareness for BPD. You are aware your emotions come from within yourself rather than blaming them on everyone around you, and then lashing out. CPTSD can arise from a chaotic childhood. Ask me how I know😳
Yay! I feel healed! I used to be a hell of a victim in one of my previous lives though. And bpd, from what I've, ahem, researched, cough google cough, is a real spectrum, unlike gender lol. But still, you're probably right. I'm gonna rabbit hole that bitch. And we should totally have coffee.🤎
Oh, me too!
People with BPD are not universally without self-awareness. In fact, in many cases they have a crippling sense of shame about the effect of their actions on others. They just can't control them. And Mrs M is right on that it's a spectrum. There are 9 criteria for BPD, ranging from self harm and chronic suicidal thoughts to relationship difficulties and impulsivity to feelings of emptiness. An individual is diagnosed when they have any five. I'm not a math person but that is a whole lot of different combinations of traits. The symptoms do overlap quite a bit with CPTSD, to the point that many people believe they are the same disorder entirely. However, since the US mental health and insurance system is based on DSM diagnoses instead of the ICD system used elsewhere (and indeed used in the US for everything other than mental health), and CPTSD has not been allowed in the DSM despite decades of advocacy, it's much less common for Americans to get an official diagnosis of CPTSD. And if they did, they would probably have difficulty getting insurance to cover any treatment at all.
Unfortunately people with BPD have been demonized over the years. Those of us with intense emotions, regardless of our diagnostic label, can be difficult for others to deal with when we're struggling. But the BPD label is associated with a problem in the person, while the CPTSD label is associated with the person having been hurt. This is despite the fact that upwards of 85% of those with BPD have prior trauma. In the vast majority of cases, BPD is caused by difficulties in childhood. It is a delay in a person's social emotional development because they did not have the support and assistance they needed to develop "normally". And although the public perception is that BPD never gets better, in fact there is a very high level of spontaneous remission when the person reaches their 40s or thereabouts. This might also fit Mrs M since she seems to be seeing a lot of changes in her life in the last decade.
Frankly, since all mental health diagnoses are just imprecise, man-made, somewhat arbitrary categories that have no real basis in any kind of science, the label matters less than what is done with it. BPD tends to be treated with DBT, which helps some people but often is more harmful for those with severe prior trauma and with self-awareness. It is focused entirely on behavioral training and didactic skills teaching. Otoh, PTSD of any kind is generally dealt with by addressing and healing the underlying trauma. If a traumatized person accesses good trauma treatment, they have a better chance of long term recovery than if they are drilled on how to change their behavior. This is true whether they are labeled with BPD, PTSD, or even with addiction. Imo, having been in health care for decades AND as a patient with trauma, part of why BPD is percieved as being so difficult to work with is that the methods we commonly use to "treat" it actually increase emotional lability and can make the person worse, not better.
Bottom line, the label matters far less than the knowledge that something is wrong AND the way you handle it.
I'll admit to hating DBT. I found it over simplistic and patronizing. Where does a gal find good trauma treatment? And also, thanks for your expertise and insight!
I love your insight in this, makes A lot of sense. I've recently found out two of my children's friends (and one of mine) were wrongly diagnosed with BPD and then were diagnosed with ADHD and depression? Could it be same symptoms but different treatment options are just more efficient? As In balancing stimulants with anti depressants and a better life routine are better than lithium and the idea that their symptons are possibly uncontainable? I Don't know, just thinking aloud!!??
I have thought, written, and spoken about the role of borderline personality traits in trans identification. How BPD creates a vulnerability to the ideology, but is also iatrogenically intensified by the ideology.
It makes total sense. BPD is the perfect storm of symptoms to keep a troubled person busy for the rest of their life with a thing like trans.
Boffice Boundaries! (I adore alliteration.)
I also live in footnote 2. Learning about boundaries is life changing - enforcing your own boundaries is magical.
Whoop! 🙌🏻
I love your writing!
Thank you! Especially since posts like these are not as popular. Really appreciate it. 🙏🏼
Always such great choice of words.
I did not want this story to end. Thank you for writing it. Agree about CPTSD v. BPD.
Thank you!
Congrats on caution & wisdom winning this one. You will find the right 🐕 at the right time.
🙏🏼
Oh my goodness!! Thank you for mentioning Prisha! I met her a couple years ago when Independent Women's Forum brought a tour of detransitioners to Texas. I was learning as much as I could in order to combat the gender ideology that had captured my daughter. Prisha's story deeply touched me and she let me give her the biggest mom hug I could muster when she said she was ruined. I'm so excited to learn that she had a baby!! Beautiful!
"I used to call them all-consuming obsessions until Miss Miller taught me that they are hyper-fixations, which can be a symptom of borderline personality disorder. "
I think they are rather more indicative of autism spectrum disorder, a topic about which I know a great deal first-hand, if you get my drift. Most female to male "trans" people are on the spectrum, and it is genetic. Not saying it is not BPD, but when you add trauma and PTSD to ASD, it could look a lot like what you describe. Just another thing to add to the differential dx.
Actually, the part of the autism spectrum you are speaking of has not been found to be genetic. When it does run in families, there has been no genetic abnormality found. Rather, it seems that that part of the spectrum is related to generational trauma. It's a learned or environmental trait rather than a biological genetic one. Whether that end of the spectrum is the same disorder as the forms of autism that have verified genetic links (which are mostly the more "severe" forms, where the person is nonverbal and unable to live without 24-7 lifelong care AND which are mostly associated with other congenital disorders) is an open question. As I said in a long comment above, mental health diagnoses, and that includes autism, are imprecise categories that are created by committees of doctors who are often paid by interested industries. They are not based on any actual physiological or generic findings and are highly subjective. So, yes, there has been an increasing number of people with prior trauma who are being diagnosed on the autism spectrum. But with different providers they could and often are just as easily diagnosed BPD or CPTSD. When diagnoses are based entirely on symptoms, and when the same symptoms meet criteria of many different diagnoses, it's kind of a crapshoot. Regardless, diagnosis matters far less than treatment.