Beautiful tribute. I love that you don't sterilize the tough bits of your relationship. But his awesomeness came through to me, I felt his special light through your words, and your beautiful writing brought a tear. Thank you for sharing him with us. Deep condolences on these huge losses of your parents Mrs. M. ❤️❤️
How amazing that your parents died only one day apart! What a lot of sadness and also pressure on you, not only in their final days, but also in the days to come. You are rising to the occasion beautifully as evidenced by that touching, heartfelt, and wonderfully crafted eulogy for your father. Your own kids are watching, I’m sure, and they see a model of forgiveness, love and grace for your parents’ faults, an example that they can follow. May this difficult experience bring the four of you Millers closer together and may God bless all of you as you grieve these profound losses.
Your writing is amazing. How you can (so soon after a life changing gut wrenching event like the simultaneous death of both parents) promptly bare and share your broken heart with such soulful formation is moving. I know we do not know each other but your writing draws me to your heart. Saying prayers for your strength as you face the following days.
Your eulogy was so touching and beautiful. Thank you for sharing even more of the intimate details of your life with us. I lost my dad a year and a half ago and we also had a complicated relationship. I’m able to focus more now on the good memories we had and it feels comforting. I hope you are finding comfort in your family now as you move through such a heartrending time. ❤️
I'm sorry for your loss... and I love seeing the grace with which you seem to be navigating it all. This line in particular hit me in the chest, loosening a tension I was only barely aware of: "And yet in the end, if you have just a little bit of wisdom and an open heart, the tenderness shakes loose and you finally see your crumpled parents like the innocent humans they are—that they always were."
There’s the takeaway, in your last paragraph. You’re right, it’s never enough, and we squander so much. It’s annoying how long it takes to forgive our parents for being human, so death becomes the teacher. Then yes, the takeaway is infinite and instant. It’s like deep sea diving in the wreck of a ship, digging treasures out of the sand…the relics that delineate the passage of time, the things we took for granted.
Your dad’s “stuff,” the collections that defined him, are now your treasures. I get it. Thank you. You’re a great writer. My condolences.
Beautiful expression in the midst of all this loss. You pinpoint all the complexities and difficulties and vulnerability of love. Sorry for your loss and wishing you long life.
"Over time, slowly at first and then maybe all at once, we offloaded our tribulations. They grew too heavy a burden—monotonous and exhausting—so we lightened our loads, keeping only what made us happy. Eventually we saw each other through clear eyes."
This hit the core. I wish you continued comfort. My own grief comes in waves - often sneaker waves; I need to remember that each has a beginning, middle and end. This is a beautiful tribute, and it adds to my own life raft. May the clear-eyed memories of both of your parents bring you peace.
Gorgeous. I did this with my dad, too, over the past decade. I wish I could have expressed it like this. I’m thankful that you have the ability to do it for the rest of us. Peace, Grace, and blessings to you. Xx
This is a very touching tribute but also reads as a lovely soliloquy of sorts of your loss. I also enjoyed your Hospice Hottie piece. When my mother was in hospice care I fretted that she did not eat. A wonderful hospice nurse reached out to me to explain the mechanism of death - that she was expending no energy thus no longer required sustenance. In essence she was literally fading away. My dad passed about 18 months later. The way I describe my loss of them is that I feel untethered. Mourn as YOU need to. Everyone does it differently.
Another beautiful piece - touching, with your usual wit and humor.
I am sorry for your loss, and wish you peace of mind.
I also love the photos you choose - they really bring your stories to life. Your Dad and you (great feathered hair, BTW - very Kristy McNichol) with the leis on at the Catskills - something so retro and classic about it. :)
Beautiful tribute. I love that you don't sterilize the tough bits of your relationship. But his awesomeness came through to me, I felt his special light through your words, and your beautiful writing brought a tear. Thank you for sharing him with us. Deep condolences on these huge losses of your parents Mrs. M. ❤️❤️
Thank you so much Elizabeth 💙
How amazing that your parents died only one day apart! What a lot of sadness and also pressure on you, not only in their final days, but also in the days to come. You are rising to the occasion beautifully as evidenced by that touching, heartfelt, and wonderfully crafted eulogy for your father. Your own kids are watching, I’m sure, and they see a model of forgiveness, love and grace for your parents’ faults, an example that they can follow. May this difficult experience bring the four of you Millers closer together and may God bless all of you as you grieve these profound losses.
Your writing is amazing. How you can (so soon after a life changing gut wrenching event like the simultaneous death of both parents) promptly bare and share your broken heart with such soulful formation is moving. I know we do not know each other but your writing draws me to your heart. Saying prayers for your strength as you face the following days.
Your eulogy was so touching and beautiful. Thank you for sharing even more of the intimate details of your life with us. I lost my dad a year and a half ago and we also had a complicated relationship. I’m able to focus more now on the good memories we had and it feels comforting. I hope you are finding comfort in your family now as you move through such a heartrending time. ❤️
Thank you Merrie. Here's to collecting comfort. ❤️❤️
I'm sorry for your loss... and I love seeing the grace with which you seem to be navigating it all. This line in particular hit me in the chest, loosening a tension I was only barely aware of: "And yet in the end, if you have just a little bit of wisdom and an open heart, the tenderness shakes loose and you finally see your crumpled parents like the innocent humans they are—that they always were."
Thanks Dr Bret! Much appreciated. 🩵
There’s the takeaway, in your last paragraph. You’re right, it’s never enough, and we squander so much. It’s annoying how long it takes to forgive our parents for being human, so death becomes the teacher. Then yes, the takeaway is infinite and instant. It’s like deep sea diving in the wreck of a ship, digging treasures out of the sand…the relics that delineate the passage of time, the things we took for granted.
Your dad’s “stuff,” the collections that defined him, are now your treasures. I get it. Thank you. You’re a great writer. My condolences.
Beautiful expression in the midst of all this loss. You pinpoint all the complexities and difficulties and vulnerability of love. Sorry for your loss and wishing you long life.
"Over time, slowly at first and then maybe all at once, we offloaded our tribulations. They grew too heavy a burden—monotonous and exhausting—so we lightened our loads, keeping only what made us happy. Eventually we saw each other through clear eyes."
This hit the core. I wish you continued comfort. My own grief comes in waves - often sneaker waves; I need to remember that each has a beginning, middle and end. This is a beautiful tribute, and it adds to my own life raft. May the clear-eyed memories of both of your parents bring you peace.
Sympathy to you. *hugs*
Perfect. You’ve got this, and we’re all there with you.
Gorgeous. I did this with my dad, too, over the past decade. I wish I could have expressed it like this. I’m thankful that you have the ability to do it for the rest of us. Peace, Grace, and blessings to you. Xx
This is a very touching tribute but also reads as a lovely soliloquy of sorts of your loss. I also enjoyed your Hospice Hottie piece. When my mother was in hospice care I fretted that she did not eat. A wonderful hospice nurse reached out to me to explain the mechanism of death - that she was expending no energy thus no longer required sustenance. In essence she was literally fading away. My dad passed about 18 months later. The way I describe my loss of them is that I feel untethered. Mourn as YOU need to. Everyone does it differently.
Another beautiful piece - touching, with your usual wit and humor.
I am sorry for your loss, and wish you peace of mind.
I also love the photos you choose - they really bring your stories to life. Your Dad and you (great feathered hair, BTW - very Kristy McNichol) with the leis on at the Catskills - something so retro and classic about it. :)
I'm still trying to figure out the leis and the hats lol. Thank you! PS I adored Kristy McNichol.
Lovely. We are all so flawed, aren’t we?
If we're not we're not human.
I’m sorry for your loss. Beautiful tribute to your dad. You’ll be brilliant with your eulogies. ❤️
Lovely!
My dad passed away 7 years ago. I find myself often wanting to talk to him and ask advice.