Ah Mrs Miller, another beautifully written piece. But it's it just your eloquent choice of words that touch me, it's the way they reflect my own thoughts and voyage back at me. I too have some hope, but I too have heavy ropes coiled around me still threatening to take me down or set us on course to that same exotic island that still captivates my son's mind, where young boys and girls deceptively change their appearances and like sirens, cry and call to my son to join them on their pleasure island of an almost drunkard delusion where nothing really is as it seems. My God I am pushing so hard at the rudder and slipping and sliding around on deck trying not be cast aside in this perpetuous and insidious storm that batters and thrashers at me constantly. I can barely see through the whipping wind and the slashing rain. My ship is almost always topsy turvy, climbing metre high swells and crashing down like a rock off a ledge. In the rare moments of calm, when the sun peeks out from the clouds and I pretend everything will be ok, I look out at the horizon and ignore the dark silhouettes of those hostile islands scattered around me, waiting for me to shipwreck near them, with their head hunters and volcano gods waiting for me to throw my child Into the lava as a sacrifice. Fpr bow, in the short calm, i stand looking ahoy with scurvied face, a tattered heart and a lump in my throat.
I too am still out here in the unknown seas, battling the forces.
I too will never be the same again.
I hope my sail with hold out and my rudder strong.
"You can't go home again" and you will never be able to laugh again - in the same way. But you can find your way back to laughter. The path may be filled with prickers and stones, but laughter is worth striving for.
Well, we left the States one week ago to escape this madness and I will tell you it’s GLORIOUS in Europe. No trans, no pride flags, just girls being girls and boys being boys in our town in the NL. I did see a rainbow flag once. Our daughter is decorating her room with pretty things again. Her bathroom is full of makeup and nail polish. Though she still claims she’s a guy, there are no signs visible except a short haircut. There is no way she can pass for a guy in this land of giant men, hopefully she sees that soon. She is happy here, and said to us yesterday she doesn’t want to move back. Time will tell if moving helped but for now I welcome the reprieve. Three years of living under a dark cloud, surrounded by this insanity. It just doesn’t exist here. People have better things to do with their lives. I can finally breathe! I encourage everyone to at least get away from the U.S. even just for a vacation for your sanity.
You had me at your use name. 😍 I have so many questions. Do you speak Dutch? How old is your daughter, do you have family there, they really let you in? You're a citizen now? I wish we did that earlier but with an empty nest come September we want to live close to our kids and they both chose directions that will most likely keep them in the Philly/NYC area. But I am definitely lobbying for a getaway! Appreciate the inspo!
Shes 19. I did it to get us out of the U.S. Sasha and Stella planted a seed in my head to do something drastic to save our kid two years ago. And we finally made it happen. Look up the DAFT treaty with the U.S./NL. It is doable and a very easy plan that is legit. I refused to send her to a US college. I knew she would be too influenced and she wasn’t ready to leave home yet with her autism. We don’t speak Dutch but will gleefully learn it. Everyone speaks English here. Start by doing some four week trips abroad. Scope it out. Kid was convinced and will do a much more affordable college in Europe. If nothing else, it buys us a few years of normalcy again. We need this, all of us parents.
Omg do I hate this cult that hijacked a wonderful family and inserted itself into every relationship.
"I wanted to be sure to reach you;
though my ship was on the way it got caught
in some moorings. I am always tying up
and then deciding to depart. In storms and
at sunset, with the metallic coils of the tide
around my fathomless arms, I am unable
to understand the forms of my vanity
or I am hard alee with my Polish rudder
in my hand and the sun sinking. To
you I offer my hull and the tattered cordage
of my will. The terrible channels where
the wind drives me against the brown lips
of the reeds are not all behind me. Yet
I trust the sanity of my vessel; and
if it sinks, it may well be in answer
to the reasoning of the eternal voices,
the waves which have kept me from reaching you."
- "To the Harbormaster"
Frank O'Hara
Beautiful. Brown lips of the reeds. Hubba.
Ah Mrs Miller, another beautifully written piece. But it's it just your eloquent choice of words that touch me, it's the way they reflect my own thoughts and voyage back at me. I too have some hope, but I too have heavy ropes coiled around me still threatening to take me down or set us on course to that same exotic island that still captivates my son's mind, where young boys and girls deceptively change their appearances and like sirens, cry and call to my son to join them on their pleasure island of an almost drunkard delusion where nothing really is as it seems. My God I am pushing so hard at the rudder and slipping and sliding around on deck trying not be cast aside in this perpetuous and insidious storm that batters and thrashers at me constantly. I can barely see through the whipping wind and the slashing rain. My ship is almost always topsy turvy, climbing metre high swells and crashing down like a rock off a ledge. In the rare moments of calm, when the sun peeks out from the clouds and I pretend everything will be ok, I look out at the horizon and ignore the dark silhouettes of those hostile islands scattered around me, waiting for me to shipwreck near them, with their head hunters and volcano gods waiting for me to throw my child Into the lava as a sacrifice. Fpr bow, in the short calm, i stand looking ahoy with scurvied face, a tattered heart and a lump in my throat.
I too am still out here in the unknown seas, battling the forces.
I too will never be the same again.
I hope my sail with hold out and my rudder strong.
❤🥺🙏🥺❤
Beautiful, Ally. Thank you for lending your seaworthy voice. Keep em coming.
Just wish substance had an edit button on comments..... aaargh typos
Just wish substance had an edit button on comments..... aaargh typos
Just wish substance had an edit button on comments..... aaargh typos
I’m so sorry. I hope that someday soon Miss Miller will outgrow her delusion.
"You can't go home again" and you will never be able to laugh again - in the same way. But you can find your way back to laughter. The path may be filled with prickers and stones, but laughter is worth striving for.
One hundo John.
This is lovely. Thank you
Well, we left the States one week ago to escape this madness and I will tell you it’s GLORIOUS in Europe. No trans, no pride flags, just girls being girls and boys being boys in our town in the NL. I did see a rainbow flag once. Our daughter is decorating her room with pretty things again. Her bathroom is full of makeup and nail polish. Though she still claims she’s a guy, there are no signs visible except a short haircut. There is no way she can pass for a guy in this land of giant men, hopefully she sees that soon. She is happy here, and said to us yesterday she doesn’t want to move back. Time will tell if moving helped but for now I welcome the reprieve. Three years of living under a dark cloud, surrounded by this insanity. It just doesn’t exist here. People have better things to do with their lives. I can finally breathe! I encourage everyone to at least get away from the U.S. even just for a vacation for your sanity.
You had me at your use name. 😍 I have so many questions. Do you speak Dutch? How old is your daughter, do you have family there, they really let you in? You're a citizen now? I wish we did that earlier but with an empty nest come September we want to live close to our kids and they both chose directions that will most likely keep them in the Philly/NYC area. But I am definitely lobbying for a getaway! Appreciate the inspo!
Shes 19. I did it to get us out of the U.S. Sasha and Stella planted a seed in my head to do something drastic to save our kid two years ago. And we finally made it happen. Look up the DAFT treaty with the U.S./NL. It is doable and a very easy plan that is legit. I refused to send her to a US college. I knew she would be too influenced and she wasn’t ready to leave home yet with her autism. We don’t speak Dutch but will gleefully learn it. Everyone speaks English here. Start by doing some four week trips abroad. Scope it out. Kid was convinced and will do a much more affordable college in Europe. If nothing else, it buys us a few years of normalcy again. We need this, all of us parents.
Will check it out thank you!
What a phrase - "floating in the uncertainty" - I wish there was a log we could rest on.
The trick to getting along on a ghost ship is to say "arrr" and act like a ghost pirate