I know too many people like that. They never see the irony of assuming that ALL Trump voters are beer-guzzling hicks wearing overalls while cleaning their guns while living in the oblivion that only Democrats are refined, educated, responsible, erudite citizens protecting democracy.
Once the scales fall from your eyes, you see arrogance and assumptions everywhere (and likely cringe at your former arrogant self. I do!) It hit me like a ton of bricks recently that I never asked my parents why they voted conservatively. It never occurred to me to inquire. Geesh. About my parents, family and friends would all ask each other “why?” as in “how could they?” rather than “why?” as in “what do they know that we don’t?” And I, too, am standing by for part 2! May we learn that your host asked you the latter question 🙏🏻
I hope saying this won't come off as being bossy. Feel free to ignore it and tell me it's unwelcome.
But in case it helps you to contemplate your next moves, this is what I think:
1. Geoff is not merely someone who disagrees with you. He's a bad person.
2. Geoff socially abused you. It wasn't mild. It was extreme, and it bordered on contempt.
3. Your husband does not have your back. He allows you to be abused. From an outsider perspective, I am questioning if he enjoys seeing his friend treat this way. I think he does. But even if he doesn't, he failed you. From what you've written in many essays, it appears to me that he mostly fails you, most of the time.
Thank you and I appreciate your take, Josh. The crazy thing is, no one ever treated me better than Mr Miller--until our daughter declared her trans identity. He was my everything and still is in many ways. I think I'm afraid to look at it like you can. I'm financially dependent. And the kids. And thirty years of shared history. And I love him. But you offer a lot to think about.
I sure as hell hope your man backs you up!! If not… wow. I have an ex husband that didn’t have my back… Now I have one that would walk through fire for me. It matters.
This is getting exciting but I feel like a voyeur at a car accident. My fantasy is that you end up resolving your differences with respect and an agreement that there is more than one way to see the world. However, I suspect that, like many of my fantasies, this one might not come to fruition.
Oof. That’s so hard. I’m so lucky my husband and I are on the same page with most of this stuff. (He’s always been more conservative than me and I think it’s a big relief for him that I’ve come around!)
But yeah it’s super awkward being around people who think we’re on the “good” side with them. Lots of biting of tongues and changing of topics.
“I just don’t get why you wouldn’t do this one thing,” I said, when we finally rolled into his gravel driveway.
Well, I certainly get it: it’s ego. All of his comments are barely veiled attempts to show his “moral superiority”. It’s a hallmark of the left nowadays; a key to the door of bona fides. And honestly, I wonder if there was also a soupçon of resentment towards you for (from his perspective, not mine) “inserting yourself into the ’boy’s trip’” and “telling him what to do”. Not the least bit surprised to hear he’s unmarried. God forbid he would honor an important woman in his life with legal benefits, such as… say… entitling her to a widow’s pension, or half of his Social Security after 10 years of marriage (not to mention solemn vows to behave towards her at a higher standard).
We just drove halfway across the country to see our daughter, and she just HAD to come unglued at me for not thinking as she thinks. I hadn't said a word (nor had I planned to). My husband started talking religion to her (which I thought was a bad idea, but it isn't as if I could stop him), and she took her anger about that out on me.
Make it make sense?
But of course, none of it does. In the midst of her rant, I attempted to point out that the ideology she now espouses is as dangerously bigoted and dogmatic as any religion that's ever existed on this planet. That her attempts to convince her father and me to abandon our faith are a form of missionary activism for her new ideology. But I might as well have been talking to a post.
The depressing reality is that Leftists do not believe that anything they do is wrong as long as it lines up with Leftist ideology. They are of the same mentality as the Inquisition, and they are as incapable of realizing what they're excusing in the name of their ideological purity as the Inquisitors were.
Amen. And well put. And! Sorry to hear about your familial friction. Looking to ourselves for the causes of our misery is beyond way too many people. It's a victim's paradise these days. What a world.
Sounds like a pretty typical case of TDS -- and yet if I were him, I'm not sure I would much appreciate being dictated to by a guest what topics I may or may not discuss.
Seems like a good time for silent bemusement at Geoff's ignorance, instead of combativeness. I'm interested to hear how it went.
Also, I agree with your point that Geoff has every right to resent me dictating what cannot be discussed. So much that I thought about your comment all night. If I could go back in time I'd have handled it differently. Maybe said, "ouch that's harsh," and then privately discussed with Mr miller how to navigate from there. But me being me, well. Drama. Panic. And all the rest.
FWIW I told Mr miller just now that I was starting to feel bad about dictating and to his credit he immediately said, "oh don't. No way. Geoff wants everyone to get along and that means knowing what's going to bother someone. Plus he talks so much it's good for him to have some limits haha."
Anyway I appreciate your comment and readership. 🙏🏼
I know how it goes. Just last night I posted something pro-Trump on FB, and had a college friend leap down my throat in the most condescending, arrogant way possible.
I did my best to avoid telling him to fuck off, but he insisted upon taking it to that point. So he clutched his pearls and unfriended me. Too bad so sad.
I can't wait for part 2! We are always taught to be respectful when visiting someone's home, but in this case, it's a bit tricky. We have a single middle-aged man who is set in his ways and happens to be best friends with your husband. I hope Mr. Miller stayed out of it and let you handle things. When you clearly say “no politics” and he continues with his snark, I think it's fair to speak up. You go for it!
I am a bit of a powder keg when it comes to the lunacy of the left and your exasperation reminds me of myself a few years back when I was on the warpath with any of my lefties that would listen regarding the Gender Borg and all its homophobic, life altering, sterilizing, experimental child abuse surgery butchery. Oh, and don't call me Cis! Male lesbians - get the fuck out! Anyhow, I've since calmed down and also lost my Trump Derangement Syndrome thanks to the Twitter files expose and a bunch of other lies uncovered. I once argued with my brother in law that oh come on, the Hunter Biden laptop is a made up story - why would he leave a laptop and never pick it up! Even the FBI said so! Now I'm like, uh, why didn't the New York Times ask Mr. Hunter Biden if it was his computer?! Isn't that what journalists do - ask questions? Everything the NY Post reported was true! Now I'm reading the NY Post to see what those muckrakers are up to, along with The Free Press which is on fire. The Cass Report his dismantling "affirming care" in Europe and it's going to have to stop here at some point - the lawsuits are coming. Are you reading Reduxx.org - those women have got the goods on the transgender nightmare movement. The female athletes are refusing to play volleyball with San Jose State which has a male on its girls team. What your daughter's school did to you is horrendous. I hope she doesn't get too deep in the gender non binary sauce at college. Breasts are erogenous zones - why are women cutting them off? It's so insane. Keep writing! You may not be able to share your views with all your leftie friends but know that there are many of us heretics out here that have taken the same path as you and totally understand where you are coming from.
Lefties love people in general but are real assholes to people in particular.
Snort laugh. Finding a lot of truth in that, sadly.
It’s the arrogance.
They like people who think just like them. A lot of them don't know anyone else.
I know too many people like that. They never see the irony of assuming that ALL Trump voters are beer-guzzling hicks wearing overalls while cleaning their guns while living in the oblivion that only Democrats are refined, educated, responsible, erudite citizens protecting democracy.
Once the scales fall from your eyes, you see arrogance and assumptions everywhere (and likely cringe at your former arrogant self. I do!) It hit me like a ton of bricks recently that I never asked my parents why they voted conservatively. It never occurred to me to inquire. Geesh. About my parents, family and friends would all ask each other “why?” as in “how could they?” rather than “why?” as in “what do they know that we don’t?” And I, too, am standing by for part 2! May we learn that your host asked you the latter question 🙏🏻
I hope saying this won't come off as being bossy. Feel free to ignore it and tell me it's unwelcome.
But in case it helps you to contemplate your next moves, this is what I think:
1. Geoff is not merely someone who disagrees with you. He's a bad person.
2. Geoff socially abused you. It wasn't mild. It was extreme, and it bordered on contempt.
3. Your husband does not have your back. He allows you to be abused. From an outsider perspective, I am questioning if he enjoys seeing his friend treat this way. I think he does. But even if he doesn't, he failed you. From what you've written in many essays, it appears to me that he mostly fails you, most of the time.
I'm sorry this is your situation.
I'm sorry
Thank you and I appreciate your take, Josh. The crazy thing is, no one ever treated me better than Mr Miller--until our daughter declared her trans identity. He was my everything and still is in many ways. I think I'm afraid to look at it like you can. I'm financially dependent. And the kids. And thirty years of shared history. And I love him. But you offer a lot to think about.
Probably more than I should have said. I'm not you and can't know what it's like. I'm just really sorry it's happening and wish you the best.
I sure as hell hope your man backs you up!! If not… wow. I have an ex husband that didn’t have my back… Now I have one that would walk through fire for me. It matters.
Well, he didn't back her up, did he?
What are you wondering about? You can read that he did not.
Cliffhanger ending!
This is getting exciting but I feel like a voyeur at a car accident. My fantasy is that you end up resolving your differences with respect and an agreement that there is more than one way to see the world. However, I suspect that, like many of my fantasies, this one might not come to fruition.
Oof. That’s so hard. I’m so lucky my husband and I are on the same page with most of this stuff. (He’s always been more conservative than me and I think it’s a big relief for him that I’ve come around!)
But yeah it’s super awkward being around people who think we’re on the “good” side with them. Lots of biting of tongues and changing of topics.
Omg. I amright there with you. Dying of suspense. ..
“I just don’t get why you wouldn’t do this one thing,” I said, when we finally rolled into his gravel driveway.
Well, I certainly get it: it’s ego. All of his comments are barely veiled attempts to show his “moral superiority”. It’s a hallmark of the left nowadays; a key to the door of bona fides. And honestly, I wonder if there was also a soupçon of resentment towards you for (from his perspective, not mine) “inserting yourself into the ’boy’s trip’” and “telling him what to do”. Not the least bit surprised to hear he’s unmarried. God forbid he would honor an important woman in his life with legal benefits, such as… say… entitling her to a widow’s pension, or half of his Social Security after 10 years of marriage (not to mention solemn vows to behave towards her at a higher standard).
Leftists can't help themselves, seemingly.
We just drove halfway across the country to see our daughter, and she just HAD to come unglued at me for not thinking as she thinks. I hadn't said a word (nor had I planned to). My husband started talking religion to her (which I thought was a bad idea, but it isn't as if I could stop him), and she took her anger about that out on me.
Make it make sense?
But of course, none of it does. In the midst of her rant, I attempted to point out that the ideology she now espouses is as dangerously bigoted and dogmatic as any religion that's ever existed on this planet. That her attempts to convince her father and me to abandon our faith are a form of missionary activism for her new ideology. But I might as well have been talking to a post.
The depressing reality is that Leftists do not believe that anything they do is wrong as long as it lines up with Leftist ideology. They are of the same mentality as the Inquisition, and they are as incapable of realizing what they're excusing in the name of their ideological purity as the Inquisitors were.
Amen. And well put. And! Sorry to hear about your familial friction. Looking to ourselves for the causes of our misery is beyond way too many people. It's a victim's paradise these days. What a world.
Sounds like a pretty typical case of TDS -- and yet if I were him, I'm not sure I would much appreciate being dictated to by a guest what topics I may or may not discuss.
Seems like a good time for silent bemusement at Geoff's ignorance, instead of combativeness. I'm interested to hear how it went.
Spoiler: Silent bemusement coming in part 2.
Also, I agree with your point that Geoff has every right to resent me dictating what cannot be discussed. So much that I thought about your comment all night. If I could go back in time I'd have handled it differently. Maybe said, "ouch that's harsh," and then privately discussed with Mr miller how to navigate from there. But me being me, well. Drama. Panic. And all the rest.
FWIW I told Mr miller just now that I was starting to feel bad about dictating and to his credit he immediately said, "oh don't. No way. Geoff wants everyone to get along and that means knowing what's going to bother someone. Plus he talks so much it's good for him to have some limits haha."
Anyway I appreciate your comment and readership. 🙏🏼
I know how it goes. Just last night I posted something pro-Trump on FB, and had a college friend leap down my throat in the most condescending, arrogant way possible.
I did my best to avoid telling him to fuck off, but he insisted upon taking it to that point. So he clutched his pearls and unfriended me. Too bad so sad.
I can't wait for part 2! We are always taught to be respectful when visiting someone's home, but in this case, it's a bit tricky. We have a single middle-aged man who is set in his ways and happens to be best friends with your husband. I hope Mr. Miller stayed out of it and let you handle things. When you clearly say “no politics” and he continues with his snark, I think it's fair to speak up. You go for it!
Oh Mr. Miller please rise to the occasion. I cant bear to think you ducked out on this one.
Oh- I feel so bad. Hope this ends better than I image.
I am a bit of a powder keg when it comes to the lunacy of the left and your exasperation reminds me of myself a few years back when I was on the warpath with any of my lefties that would listen regarding the Gender Borg and all its homophobic, life altering, sterilizing, experimental child abuse surgery butchery. Oh, and don't call me Cis! Male lesbians - get the fuck out! Anyhow, I've since calmed down and also lost my Trump Derangement Syndrome thanks to the Twitter files expose and a bunch of other lies uncovered. I once argued with my brother in law that oh come on, the Hunter Biden laptop is a made up story - why would he leave a laptop and never pick it up! Even the FBI said so! Now I'm like, uh, why didn't the New York Times ask Mr. Hunter Biden if it was his computer?! Isn't that what journalists do - ask questions? Everything the NY Post reported was true! Now I'm reading the NY Post to see what those muckrakers are up to, along with The Free Press which is on fire. The Cass Report his dismantling "affirming care" in Europe and it's going to have to stop here at some point - the lawsuits are coming. Are you reading Reduxx.org - those women have got the goods on the transgender nightmare movement. The female athletes are refusing to play volleyball with San Jose State which has a male on its girls team. What your daughter's school did to you is horrendous. I hope she doesn't get too deep in the gender non binary sauce at college. Breasts are erogenous zones - why are women cutting them off? It's so insane. Keep writing! You may not be able to share your views with all your leftie friends but know that there are many of us heretics out here that have taken the same path as you and totally understand where you are coming from.